Happy Valentine's Day, loves!
Oh, wow! Has it been a while since I last posted an article about love? Do you still remember Do Not Fall in Love With Me? I published it back in 2014.
And after two years... I am still single. My love story is non-existent. *laughs* But, it will never stop me from celebrating today.
So I am dedicating this post to you, who is experiencing the pains of waiting, who is scared like me that the love of your life will not find you, who prays fervently to our Father to make him real, so the love you've gathered for so many years will finally be given at last.
I am dedicating this post to you. I know there are other things we have to find before we find each other, but I am here, and I'll be waiting. I'll always be waiting for you.
This is Where it All Started.
10 February 2016, 1:32 am
It started in your friend's birthday party. The guy you've been staring at from afar finally took notice of you. A friend of a friend, you later knew. He looked at you longer than a few seconds to be categorized as "just" friends, and you were elated. He came closer and smiled. You smiled back... Because, hey, you like the guy. Then came the introductions and the getting-to-know-you. And before you knew what was happening, you both realized that you'd just spoken to each other for the entire night. Yes, your friends took notice, and pulled those obvious smirks. The embarrassment and awkward silences were present, but honestly you didn't give a damn. He asked for your number and you gladly gave it. And called it a night.
It spiraled from that first text message you've received after the party which led to a couple of dates; How he used to wait for you in your office lobby just to see you because he learned that you love it when people choose to do it for you (because it rarely happened); How he surprised you with a full bloom rose just because, or how he used to message you in post-its and hand-written letters; How he called you often just to hear your voice and make you laugh; How he went out of his way to drive to your house and meet your parents; How he self-invited himself to celebrate the mass with you and your family; How he opened up his soul and you eagerly followed; How he tucked your hair when the wind ruffled it up and placed his palm in your cheek; How he ultimately became your best guy friend and cheerleader who prayed for you and with you.
And it ended when he surprised you with a spontaneous road trip outside the metro, played loud music while driving, took you to a higher ground overlooking the city, watched the sun set and moon rise, and out of the blue asked you to become his girlfriend. You said "Yes!" because you've been waiting for him to ask you that question for a long time, and then... it ended.
It ended when he tried to kiss you and you felt nothing, because when you opened your eyes, there was no one there. For the millionth time, you realized that you were dreaming all along. That he, yes... he was only your imagination. Just a product of your torturous mind, and nothing more.
There was no friend's birthday party. There was no guy you've been infatuated with. No friend of a friend.
There was only your heart breaking, and you trying so hard to remember how to breathe, and collect those broken fragments from the fall, piecing them back together and convincing yourself that it's all gonna be okay. That whatever stage this was in your life, it would pass. It had to pass.
And as you struggle to embrace this heartache, and your lungs are having a hard time breathing; when your throat is constricting of too much emotions, and your body is shaking of longing; when your mind is getting tired of fighting fear that you will not have your forever, and your eyes are glistening with unshed tears, hope.
Hope that all the waiting that you've been doing has to end somehow. And you'll finally have the love story you'll tell your grandchildren about.
The love story that starts in waiting and in pain. Because pain, you realized, is inevitable. You have to experience the hardships in waiting.
For when that music finally starts, and there really is that party, and there's this guy who can't stop staring at you like you are some kind of magic, the best kind there is --- you will not be scared of reality any longer.
Because for the first time in your life, you are looking at love and he is staring right back at you, closing in the distance between what's real and what's not, and finally having that kiss that means everything.
And you will be secured that when you close your eyes, and open them again, pinch your arm a little bit to feel the certainty of it all, he will still be there, as real as he can be, and not a product of your torturous mind any longer.
And the waiting... Oh, all the waiting will finally be put to an end.
But, until then, love... hope.